yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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