I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize