I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
