As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You know, be my cock's hype man.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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