i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
