so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
