I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
3 2 1 whiskey
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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