im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
She's the barista slut.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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