im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
