Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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