Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
