Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
