I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You pole danced in your parka.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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