So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Success! We fucked roommates!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
