Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
