we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Church boner. Awkwardddd
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
