I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
