wanna go halves on a baby?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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