should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
either way he was missing a nipple.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
