Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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