Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
