tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
