She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize