pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
