He had one of those small greek statue penises
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
