Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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