dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The power of my boobs compel you
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
