butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
