Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
