i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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