I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
