oh god the rape fog is back!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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