I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I enjoy the company of your penis
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
