How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
