2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
