I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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