Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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