dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
