You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
