let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
