I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
