I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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