You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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