I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
