was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
