it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
