You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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