no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
