connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
