4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize