You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
