I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
