at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
