sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
