I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
