You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
