Ambien. No doubt about it.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
