just tell him i said nine months
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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