omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
only if we run a train.
done.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
