I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
