FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
