I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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