Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
