Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
