i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I need water and some morals
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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