who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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