btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize