Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize