There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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