watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
