Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
