So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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