he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
