smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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