my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
